This past June marks my three year anniversary of graduating High School. Sitting on the PCHS football field in front of all the people that believed in me, it seemed like my whole life was changing. What had been four years of reliable stability was no longer a reality. Yes there was plenty of fear attached to this next chapter but was I excited? Of course! Facing my future head on and stepping into the unknown, I was reassured by the various remarks which involved something along the lines of "college is the best four years of your life." I packed my things, said goodbye to my family through tear stained eyes and slept in an unfamiliar bed in an unfamiliar place. Long story short I had an unforgettable Freshman year and learned more about myself than I could've ever imagined; including giving up a part of my identity to move forward in this messy life.
Well here I am, currently staring my Senior year in the face with a (constantly wavering) mixture of excitement, fear, relief, confusion and joy. It's true what they say: life isn't about finding yourself, life is about creating yourself. This has held especially true for me recently, looking back at the past couple of years and recognizing the person I've become through the adventures I've experienced. Have I "found myself"? Personally, I think that idea is a bit unattainable. How am I supposed to "find myself" when I'm constantly learning about the world, being shaped like soft clay and never really taking on a consistent shape? Of course in many ways I'm still the same Rachel I was in High School and even in Middle School. But, as life is constantly changing, so am I...and I've decided that is my favorite part about this journey so far. The power of freewill is both liberating and terrifying, we are unrestrained to live our lives the way we please. I think if this freedom is used in the right way, it opens the doors to a whole new way of living and navigating our way in this world.
Basically I guess I've just come to the realization lately that we are all different, really different, and that is what makes our time here so beautiful. I will never meet another person who shares the exact same views as me or has experienced exactly what I have experienced. And while growing up may sometimes feel like shrinking down, I think it's important to give ourselves credit while embracing the fact that we are free to change and flourish. I know not everyone is blessed with a life in which they can pursue their dreams or switch their path but I do believe we all possess an inherent ability to create ourselves. That, my friends, is a wonderful truth worth holding onto, in a world where almost nothing seems certain. Oh and by the way, while college may be "the best four years of your life" it's also some of the hardest and I think it's about time we tell that to High School graduates as well.
