Overthinking is a slippery slope which often times leads to the creation of "mind problems." I don't know about you but I have a knack for combing through every tiny detail, questioning, and second guessing everything. To be honest, it's as much of a curse as it is a blessing. The curse side made itself known in the past couple of months, bringing out a fragile, confused, less sparkly version of myself. While being in that place was sad, uncomfortable and overwhelming it was also freeing. I learned that my thoughts don't control me. A strange concept, that we are capable of holding our selves back and causing more harm than good. How have I come to deal with my flaws? By realizing that we are made of many parts. Our mind, body, soul and spirit are no doubt connected; but also distinctly separate. Our mind can change our heart and vice versa, our heart affects our soul...while I'm far from understanding my inner workings, I do know the value of letting one component override another. Sometimes your heart, which can only be felt through emotion (which by the way is a state of consciousness) knows better than your brain. Having the courage to listen to your gut is invaluable. Sure, we're highly intelligent and complex beings, with the ability to reason but we are also deceivingly simple. We require food and water, everything else is extra. Personally that fact is encouraging. While dealing with my inner self may seem all important, the reality is that I am one very small part of the universe, only here for a blink.
Which brings me to my next point. "What is the meaning of life?" "What is my purpose?" Well folks, I've got no idea. Plus, that requires a lot of extra pressure and thinking time that I do not have. But I do know what makes me smile, cry, laugh, contemplate, feel alive, get out of bed, sing, dance and most of all live. These things are worth my energy and get me out of my head and into the world. It's people, who are tangible and wonderful and shape who I am while encouraging me to discover myself. They are the ones who believe in me when I don't believe in myself, who love me despite by emotional outbursts, who remind me that while I sometimes feel alone, I most certainly not. I want to thank everyone I've crossed paths with, especially those that love me unconditionally. You know who you are and you should know that you are the glue to my ever cracking self.
So what am I getting at? Being a human is both extraordinary and miserable. Which is why I'm trying to simplify my complexities, and focus on the extraordinary. By treating myself with compassion and being proud of any achievement, I've managed to reignite my spark. Oh, and being hugged tightly by those I love hasn't hurt either.
